Some people come into our lives knowing full well, what they want to achieve at the end of the day. This purpose could be revealed at the onset or could be cached and totally unknown to one party; call it naivety or immaturity, but there are those who would want to trust people for what they say. But some people may just want your friendship as a means, to an end, whiles others are really there to be friends-for-life! So it's important to create a clear distinction amongst social friendships or business-related friendships, etc. Of course, some friends from our business world or our professional backgrounds, etc. can become true friends; but these sort of friends should be chosen with extreme caution. Simply because, in my opinion, friends from these backgrounds could easily be friendly, just for the sake of the business or what they can gain by being closely associated with you. And there are those friends who would simply relate with you when they need to chat, hangout, brainstorm an idea, etc. Now, you may be wondering, just like I am, how can one know if they have a friend-for-life, or just another casual friend, who's coming to make their own impact and leave? Well I put it this way, because sometimes parting can be filled with gladness, sadness, or plain fury.
But I guess in order to minimize the negative impact of parting ways, we could all sensitize our minds on what I call, the "Friendship Terms of Contract". Don't forget that in all this, we could also be on that side of the coin too where we enter into friendship with others deceitfully. So this is for all of us, to come clean in the way we make friends with people. We also may make friends along the way, but don't make our real expectations known. It's just good I think, if everyone just clearly remains honest in their expectations of the friendships they maintain. Maybe your comments can help bring some clarity... Who is the determinant of whether or not, a friendship lasts a lifetime? There may be those chance encounters with long-lost "friends" as we usually call it, but ultimately, I believe the one who determines who is required in our lives forever, is God. Well, the fact is that, some people we encounter along life's journey may or may not remember us few years down the line. We, as individuals, may also choose to remain friends with people or choose to let go, depending on the impact of these friendships on our lives. There are those friendships that self-destruct due to the weight of their cons, as opposed to the pros. And there are those friendships that would remain even-though oceans apart.
I have come to accept the fact that friends will come and go. I have come to realize that some friends may even choose to tolerate me just as long as I remain helpful to their cause. And I have come to accept the fact that people come into our lives for a reason, and whether or not that reason is obvious to us or cached; there are lessons to be learnt. Because as long as we're still building certain characteristics and forming certain qualities in our lives, we need people to test how strong our building blocks are. So maybe we may not know in advance, just how long a friendship or encounter with someone would last, but just determine to make each friendship build you up. Even those ones that seem to tear us apart emotionally could actually be stepping stones to our next level. Sometimes some characteristic in us, is not required at our next level, and it takes someone out there to make us realize that. In the same way, we make others realize what they need to build up in their lives, just by being a part of theirs. Even if it lasts for only season.
PATRICIA DZIFA MENSAH-LARKAI, DTM
FOUNDER, LEAD CONSULTANT - PERISSOS HORIZON
Instagram: @Perissos.Horizon
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